PREPARING FOR BATTLE
Before you involve other men in your battle, count the costs.
I've heard men say, "I wish I'd just die!" But the truth is, they don't want to die, in fact, they're afraid of the slightest change from the routine that has brought a measure of peace to their lives.
If you've been "churched" for any length of time, you've likely heard Jesus Christ's command to count the costs (Luke 14:25-35). Jesus says a man must be "carrying his cross." Even with all the sermons we may have heard on the topic, I think the phrase can still be pretty meaningless in today's culture. This verse can be read, "And anyone who is not on his way to his death and following me cannot be my disciple."
In this series of teachings recorded by Luke, Jesus uses one "counting the costs" example that I find most fitting for men dealing with addictions: Consider the outcome before going to battle.
"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, anyone who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:31-33
Simply put, Jesus is saying that if you are going to oppose an enemy and believe you are hopelessly outnumbered, you will want to run out and surrender before the battle even begins.
I've heard it preached that we must surrender, that this is the point of the verse. But take a look at the context and the consistency of his teaching (Luke 14:25-35). The point is that we are not to surrender! We are to consider our lives forfeit and not surrender to the enemy. Even the verses following support this: "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?" We are to retain our saltiness. We are to remain in the battle!
The key phrase is, "If he is not able." The Roman Empire of Jesus' time had no fear of opposing 20,000 with 10,000. They knew the power of their experienced warriors.
Are you able to oppose your enemy, seemingly outnumbered? To this point you may have been facing the enemy with soldats faux—fake soldiers. You've entered with ideas gleaned from sermons or books. Soldats faux. You've entered with good intentions and promises to do better. Soldats faux. You've entered alone. Perhaps you've entered alone, not believing anyone would stand by your side.
If you're like me and thousands of other men, you've likely attempted to go to battle many times, only to find yourself surrendering before first blood is drawn. This time, if you're looking to face the battle once again, obey Christ's command and count the cost. The truth is that you may not yet be ready to face the battle. If this is the case, do not sacrifice others who are willing to face the enemy at your side. Do not wound brothers-in-arms as they strive to support you, only to face your surrender to the enemy and the pain and damage that causes to them. And please do not come to the battle whining, "My wife will leave me unless I change." You have known that for years! Why is this time different? Simply because you've been caught? Please do not waste your time—or anyone else's—if that is the depth of your conviction.
This battle will be fierce. You have spent your life running from the battle. This battle is will engage your body, your mind and your spirit. You have a lifetime of habits and ways of thinking and patterns of surrender. Before you attempt to engage the enemy again, count the costs. There are forces ready to come to your side, men of grace and power, experienced warriors who will help you build a plan of battle. But first: Are you willing to draw the enemy's blood? Are you willing to oppose the enemy with all these forces at your disposal? Or will you simply raise the flag of surrender again when you see the real battle approaching?
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood. Hebrews 12:14
Are you ready to begin counting costs? One way you are expected to engage in this battle is through journaling: the writing of your thoughts, feelings, questions, struggles onto paper. Are you considering entering the battle? Then begin by pulling out some paper and writing several paragraphs about the battle you face and how in the past you have run to the enemy to surrender. In what ways has this surrender brought peace—yes, peace, if only momentarily—to your life? As you write, battle to lower your own defenses enough to be honest. Do not worry about spelling or style, just let thoughts flow. Plead with God to guide your pen and your thoughts. Plead for insight into the blackness inside. Your life has been one of surrender, of peace at all costs. What peace will you be giving up if you go to battle? Is the battle worth that cost?
There are soldiers desperate to stand by your side, so when you get to the point that you are truly ready to make that most difficult call of your life, let us know that you've already begun drawing blood through journaling this assignment. The men will appreciate that you are looking to take this battle as seriously as they do.
